35. 11.30pm. Top deck, near the front on the left.

Yes! The most excellent use of the PA system ever. The driver must be a DJ in his spare time, the timing was exquisite.

The top deck was mostly empty. A couple clinked upstairs with a bag full of beer bottles. Giggling, they sat down across from me and cracked open their drinks. The PA came on:

‘The consumption of alcohol is prohibited on London buses.’

The couple groaned and, thinking that the disembodied voice couldn’t be speaking directly to them, ignored the message. Clink, clink, glug.

‘CCTV is in operation on this bus.’

You could almost hear the canned laughter. So much more effective than shouting.


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