Up the arse

35. 11pm. Bottom deck, right behind the driver.

‘As you were. Do you take it up the arse? Bend over. As you were. Are you being a poofter?’

These were the elegant words uttered by a bald man in a pin-striped suit to a rather well-built younger man in a yellow t-shirt. It was a crowded bus, and quite chatty, but all conversation ceased as people listened in to this verbal assault.

‘You poofter. Bend over. As you were, you fairy…’

The younger man spoke up: ‘When we get off, I show you, I fuck you up.’

It was getting uglier, though the two men remained at a physical distance from one another, separated by other passengers. A female bystander finally stepped in, asking them both to behave nicely. She got some abuse from the bald man too – something about ‘spoiling the fun’. We arrived at London Bridge and both men got off the bus – the younger man first. He beckoned mockingly to the bald man as he strode away. The bald man, so generous with his insults when there was a woman to shield him, waited by the front door of the bus until he felt the coast was clear. We all watched him do this.

Why is it that the most heinously intolerant people are often the most cowardly when push comes to shove? I hope his ears are burning.

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