Bonus!

172. 8.30pm. Bottom deck, back row.

The following is one half of a mobile phone conversation that I (and everyone else in the back row) couldn’t help but overhear. The man was around forty and had slightly thinning but well-combed hair. He was wearing a dark blue suit, and had gold rings on each of the fingers of his right hand, which was the hand brandishing his mobile phone.

‘It’s old. But the functionality is there. You don’t want to get rid of it, it represents value. However you do want…

‘I’ll send you the link-up so you can download it. There’s a discount code.

‘I can’t answer that, I’m afraid. You need to consult the budget holder.

‘I would have thought there would be 30% leeway in it.

‘It’s a question of filing. You’ll need to justify the expense somewhere along the line.

‘The thing is, remember – sorry to interrupt you – but you’ll get either the laptop or the iPad, not both. You have to be a Divisional Director to get both.’